He-Man as a business model

#He_Man Wants His Money Back

You can count me among those ’80s kids who fell in love with He-Man.

The show? An explosive cocktail of weird pulp heroic fantasy, dark sci-fi, and raw, goofy fun specifically made for kids aged six and up. The violent aspects (remember: both the heroes and villains carried weapons of all sorts, shapes, and sizes) were softened by plot twists and narrative turns that, viewed from an adult perspective, now seem downright hilarious.

But we’re businesspeople, aren’t we? Let’s talk business for a moment.

Mattel wanted to sell us Barbies (and by «us» I’m referring exclusively to us boys — roughly half of the world’s population), so their own Masters of the Universe came up with a few ideas:

-The catalyst? A cartoon show aired during prime viewing hours.
-The theme? Heroism and monsters. A perfect combination.
-The hero and the villain? A heavily muscled blond warrior paired with a heavily muscled skeletal warlock.
That was genius.

A. One. Billion. Dollar. Genius.

Now we’ve got a new movie after several somewhat failed reboots. An action-adventure film (rated 12+ due to violence) that can fairly be considered a box-office flop. A movie whose board of sages, despite this latest failed attempt, has already gone ahead and announced sequels, series, and toys.

Wait a minute…

Mattel didn’t give up on us after all. On us grown-up kids.

Remember the business model: selling merchandise to ’80s kids was the goal. But those kids grew up and are now in their forties.

Like me.

Today’s actual kids (aged 6–10) don’t buy muscled heroes and monsters the way they used to. Nor do their parents.
Lou Scheimer sold us glorious childhood dreams in the shape of wonderful toys by giving us the plot, the art direction, the scenery, the voice acting, and the animation.

And his Netflix-Amazon-Mattel heirs want that business model back.

From ’80s parents to 2020s parents.

—
He-Man: «Look, Iván, don’t get us wrong. We cared about what we did 40 years ago. We collected letters from kids like you, and we deeply cared for y…»
Me: «Oh, shut up and take my money, you muscled blondie.»
—

He-Man wants his money back.

And you can’t just say «no» to the most powerful man in the universe.

Now that’s good business, don’t you agree?